Sex Toys In The LDS Marriage Part 8 of 11

 WARNING: This post contains a topic of a sacred sexual nature and is intended for married couples only. Reader discretion is advised.

 

 Click here in case you missed part [1], [2], [3] ,[4], [5], [6],and [7]

 

What if my spouse starts to prefer the sex toy instead of having sex with me?

While toys are helpful and a high potential for wholesome marital fun, they cannot truly replace intimacy with a live human being in a loving interaction.[i]

Toys can stimulate the sexually responsive nerves that bring a person to orgasm, but they don’t do pillow talk. They don’t caress you lovingly. They don’t trigger those biochemical; ionic interactions that create the full experience of talking, touching, tasting, and sharing that is human intimacy.They also do not complete our sexual cycles that enable us to fulfill the full measure of our creations. The full orchestra of marital intimacy is so much more than the 2 dimensional physical act of sexual intercourse.

While you may satisfy one aspect of you (the body), a lot of other parts go unsatisfied if all you ever do is use a sex toy.

If this is a concern, it would be an excellent opportunity to have an open conversation about this with your spouse. Talk about what they or you may feel is missing from the relationship. Do they trust you with their feelings to let go and be vulnerable with you? Such conversations are sometimes difficult to have, but they are well worth the effort. Overcoming conflict together intensifies intimacy.

If the barrier is deeper than this, a marriage counselor can be helpful here. The rule of thumb here is that sex is supposed to be used as a tool to strengthen your eternal bond. Sex toys should be used to enhance that, not separate you or push you apart.

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[i] Schreiber, Katherine MFA, LMSW , How Sex Toys Impact Relationships “Whether sex toys end up enhancing a relationship or leading to conflict likely depends on the nature of openness and communication between partners. As a 2013 report by the Guttmacher Institute demonstrates, the more positively individuals in relationships rate their interactions with their partners, the higher they tend to rate their desire for one another as well as the satisfaction they derive from their relationship — inside and outside of the bedroom." (a secular reference, but has some useful advice about sexual communication between a man and a wife): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201705/how-sex-toys-impact-relationships