WARNING: This post contains a
topic of a sacred sexual nature and is intended for married couples only.
Reader discretion is advised.
My bishop (or other Church member/leader) has said that
using sex toys will make us unworthy to enter the temple.
If a single person uses a vibrator to achieve an orgasm,
that person needs to repent and regain their worthiness before the Lord. In addition
to being a prurient breaking of the law of chastity, solo masturbation or
masturbating when single is a habit that has been shown to have detrimental
side effects to your marriage.
When a married person uses a toy or another sexual aid
primarily instead of going to their spouse for sexual intimacy, this can create
resentment and therefore does the opposite of what sex was intended for - to
bring you closer together.
While the use of sex toys is not sinful in marriage by themselves,
sex toys (like any other sexual practice or technique) can be used in a
wrongful manner, including to hurt or damage our spouse’s body.
If we are forcing, guilting, or coercing our spouse into
using sex toys when they would prefer not to, we can and should repent. Repentance means adjusting your approach, making restitution with yourself and your spouse and the Lord, and, if necessary, moving on. Don’t sweat it. Learning what works and what doesn’t sexually in
your marriage is part of the game (and the fun, when you do find something that works
for the both of you.)
If you bring a sexual concern about using sex toys to your Church leader, that leader is in all likelihood going to tell you to stop and not use them. It's important to understand what that counsel means, though.
If the use of sex toys is in some way driving a couple apart
instead of bringing them closer, then that couple needs to stop using sex toys
(at least temporarily) until they’ve discovered the true source of their
challenges and worked through it.
It doesn't mean they should never use sex toys. It doesn't mean that no one should ever use sex toys.
It means they should resolve any underlying concerns and issues that are keeping them from using them, if they're able. Until then, they should not use them.
For more thoughts on church leaders’ advice regarding
married sexuality, see my blog entitled “Is the Bishop In Your Bedroom”[i].
