One of the disadvantages we have with the English language,
with any language really, is that when we only work in one language, some of
our terms limit our thinking. “Love” is one of those terms, when it comes to
English.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary gives us several
variations on the definition for love, but they could basically be boiled down
to a simplified version of:
· to feel great affection for (someone);· to feel love for (someone or something)· to feel sexual or romantic love for (someone)· to like or desire (something) very much : to take great pleasure in (something) [i]
Some popular slogans gay-marriage supporters adopted during
the recent Supreme Court case included statements such as “Love = Love” and “Love
Wins”.
But I found myself pondering the question “Does their
perception of love really equal mine? Are all forms of love really the same?
Are all definitions of love truly equal?
If all forms of love are equally acceptable,
should they be given equal value and consideration?”
In English we only have the one word to use, yet I saw the
greater Christian community’s vehement distaste for these same slogans, and my own
LDS ethnic perspective straining at them as well. For me, the concept of only
one kind of love for every situation seemed to make reason stare.
Could a temporal or secular perspective on the term ‘love’
be the same or even be compatible with an eternal perspective of love?
I took a closer look, in the hope of finding a clearer
definition of what love is, to understand better if there are forms of love
that are detrimental to life instead of fulfilling, and perhaps know better what
would constitute an eternal perspective judgment call on different aspects of
love.
I came upon some of the research of Canadian sociologist
John A. Lee.[ii] He
conducted his investigations in the 1970s. From more than four thousand statements
about love from multiple cultures, including the Greek, Lee analyzed and constructed
a theory around six basic styles of loving.
Those six styles were later expanded by others to eight, two
of which are very similar in nature. These categories for the English term ‘love’
include philautia (phil-LAUW-te-ah), ludus (LOO-dus), eros (AIR-ahs), mania
(MAY-nee-ah), philia (FIL-ee-ah), storge (STORE-gay), pragma (PRAHG-mah), and
agape (ah-GAH-pay).
We are not exempt from these kinds of love as members of the
Church. They are all part of our development as human beings, and eventually
eternal beings. So how does the world perceive each form of love, and how does
the Lord look upon these forms of love, especially when it comes to love and
sex with our spouses? How can we utilize each of these forms of love in our
complete development as children of God?
We’ll be discussing each of these different kinds of love in
articles to come.
