Today we are looking at General Handbook 38.6.2 on Abuse.
This section applies to your eternal marriage bed in that
any kind of abuse can sour and be detrimental to experiencing the full symphony
of marital sexual intimacy. It will also flag a moving violation in the
marriage rule book that keeps it fun and healthy for everyone.
When it talks of abuse of “spouse”, it is referring to a
wife abusing a husband and/or a husband abusing a wife. While we need to acknowledge that the majority of reported abuse cases are of women being abused, culturally we tend to forget or ignore that 40% of reported abuse is of men [1] being abused as well.
Your marriage may not
have any of these problems, but it’s good to know how the church defines “abuse”
and what the policy is on how the church leadership prefers it be addressed.
Many couples may not be aware of how the church defines
abuse and may be in an abusive relationship and not know it. Again, to keep
eternal marriages thriving, the atonement of Jesus Christ applies here as well.
For this reason, I recommend you as a couple read and discuss this definition
of abuse and where your personal understanding and interpersonal expressions
may need to be adjusted.
This is not the full information available.
I tried to keep this
focused on what applies specifically to what may occur between you as a couple
or in your interactions with your children. It’s also good to be aware of how
your Bishop and Stake President are required to respond.
38.6.2
Abuse
Abuse is the mistreatment or neglect
of others in a way that causes physical, sexual, emotional, or financial harm.
The Church’s position is that abuse cannot be tolerated in any form. Those who
abuse their spouses, children, other family members, or anyone else violate the
laws of God and man…
When abuse occurs, the
first and immediate responsibility of Church leaders is to help those who have
been abused and to protect vulnerable persons from future abuse. Leaders should
not encourage a person to remain in a home or situation that is abusive or
unsafe.
38.6.2.1
Abuse Help Line
In some
countries, the Church has established a confidential abuse help line to assist
stake presidents and bishops. These leaders should promptly call the help line
about every situation in which a person may have been abused—or is at risk of being abused.
They should also call it if they become aware of a member viewing, purchasing,
or distributing child [profane erotica]…
Bishops and stake presidents should call the help line when addressing
situations involving any type of abuse. Legal and clinical professionals will
answer their questions…The Church is committed to complying with the law in reporting abuse (see 38.6.2.7). Laws differ by location, and most Church leaders are not legal experts. Calling the help line is essential for bishops and stake presidents to fulfill their responsibilities to report abuse.
A bishop
should also notify his stake president of instances of abuse.
In countries
that do not have a help line, a bishop who learns of abuse should contact his
stake president. He will seek guidance from the area legal counsel at the area
office.
38.6.2.2
Counseling in Cases of Abuse
Stake
presidents and bishops make every effort to counsel those who have been
involved in abuse. Victims of abuse often suffer serious trauma and feelings of
guilt. These victims are not guilty of sin. Leaders should be sensitive to them
and give caring counsel and support to help them overcome the destructive
effects of abuse. Leaders also give assurances of God’s love.
Stake presidents and
bishops should help those who have committed abuse to repent and to cease their
abusive behavior. If an adult has committed a sexual sin against a child, the
behavior may be very difficult to change. The process of repentance may be very
prolonged. See 38.6.2.3.
Stake
presidents and bishops should also be caring and sensitive when working with
the families of victims and perpetrators of abuse…
In addition
to the inspired help of Church leaders, professional counseling may be needed
for victims, offenders, and their families. In the United States and Canada,
leaders may contact a Family Services office for assistance. …
For
information about what bishops and stake presidents should do when they learn
of any type of abuse, see 38.6.2.1.
38.6.2.3
Child or Youth Abuse
Abuse of a
child or youth is an especially serious sin (see Luke 17:2). As used here, child
or youth abuse includes the following:
·
Physical abuse: Inflicting serious bodily
harm by physical violence. Some harm may not be visible.
·
Sexual abuse or exploitation: Having any
sexual activity with a child or youth or intentionally allowing or helping
others to have such activity. As used here, sexual abuse does not include
consensual sexual activity between two minors who are close in age.
·
Emotional abuse: Using actions and words
to seriously damage a child or youth’s sense of self-respect or self-worth.
This usually involves repeated and continuing insults, manipulations, and
criticisms that humiliate and belittle. It may also include gross neglect.
·
Child pornography: See 38.6.6.
If a bishop or stake
president learns of or suspects child or youth abuse, he promptly follows the
instructions in 38.6.2.1. He also takes action to help protect against further
abuse. If a minor abuses a child, the stake president contacts the Office of
the First Presidency for direction.
A Church
membership council and record annotation are required if an adult member abuses
a child or youth as described in this section. See also 32.6.1.1 and 38.6.2.5.
Physical or emotional bullying between children or youth of a similar age
should be addressed by ward leaders. A membership council is not held.
38.6.2.4
Abuse of a Spouse or Another Adult
Abuse of a
spouse or another adult can occur in many ways. These include physical, sexual,
emotional, and financial abuse….
Often there
is not a single definition of abuse that can be applied in all situations.
Instead, there is a spectrum of severity in abusive behavior. This spectrum
ranges from occasionally using sharp words to inflicting serious harm.
If a bishop
or stake president learns of abuse of a spouse or another adult, he promptly
follows the instructions in 38.6.2.1. He also takes action to help protect
against further abuse.
Leaders
seek the direction of the Spirit to determine whether personal counseling or a
membership council is the most appropriate setting to address abuse. They may
also counsel with their direct priesthood leader about the setting. However,
any abuse of a spouse or another adult that rises to the levels described below
requires holding a membership council.
·
Physical abuse: Inflicting serious
bodily harm by physical violence. Some harm may not be visible.
·
Sexual abuse: 38.6.15
Sexual Abuse
The Church
condemns sexual abuse. As used here, sexual abuse is defined as imposing
any unwanted sexual activity on another person. Sexual activity with a person
who cannot give legal consent is considered sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can also
occur with a spouse. ..
Sexual abuse
covers a broad range of actions, from harassment to assault. It can occur
physically, verbally, and in other ways.
If leaders
and members become aware of sexual abuse, they take action to protect victims
and others as soon as possible. This includes alerting the bishop or stake
president.
If a bishop
or stake president learns of sexual abuse, he calls the Church’s abuse help
line in countries where it is available (see 38.6.2.1). In other countries, the
stake president seeks guidance from the area legal counsel at the area office.
A membership
council is required if a member committed a rape or is convicted of sexual
assault (see 32.6.1.1). A council must also be held for sexual activity with a
vulnerable adult. As used here, a vulnerable adult is a person who,
because of physical or mental limitations, either cannot consent to the
activity or cannot understand the nature of it.
To address
other forms of sexual abuse, leaders seek the Spirit’s guidance about whether
personal counseling or a membership council is the most appropriate setting
(see 32.6.2.2 and 32.8). In severe cases a council is required. Leaders may
counsel with their direct priesthood leader about the setting.
If
membership restrictions result from a membership council that is held for
sexual abuse, a person’s records are annotated.
Victims of sexual abuse
often suffer serious trauma and feelings of guilt. These victims are not guilty
of sin. Leaders should be sensitive to them and give caring counsel and support
to help them overcome the destructive effects of abuse. Leaders also give
assurances of God’s love.
For
information about counseling in cases of abuse, see 38.6.2.2.
·
Emotional abuse: Using actions and
words to seriously damage a person’s sense of self-respect or self-worth. This
usually involves repeated and continuing insults, manipulations, and criticisms
that humiliate and belittle.
·
Financial abuse: Taking advantage of
someone financially. This may include the illegal or unauthorized use of a
person’s property, money, or other valuables. It may also include fraudulently
obtaining financial power over someone. It could include using financial power
to coerce behavior. See also 32.6.1.3.
[i]
[1] Martin R. Huecker; William Smock, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/, Domestic Violence (2019)
