Warning:
This blog post has anatomically correct terminology and discussions of
sexuality in the context of marriage. To any
singles reading, please click here
Hi Sam…I have a question…
A couple of years back I was chatting with a friend
and seasoned priesthood leader and
somehow we came to talk about eternal marriages and the status in the eternal
world of those who do not qualify for the highest degree of glory…
My friend says "Well, I am not sure what will
happen to the sexual organs of those who do not enter the celestial marriage,
if they will not be a part of their bodies any longer or what, but one thing I
do know for sure, they will not be able to use them".
That statement has made me think a lot. Yes, we all
hope to attain the highest glory, but still, some won't.
In the pre-existence we all held our first estate
when we chose to side with Christ, and by doing this we were unconditionally
promised the blessings of a physical body. With that in mind it feels a little bit
like going backwards on our earned blessings if we would no longer be able to
use this precious body to its full extent.
In general terms, I have always had within me the
idea that most of us, when all is said and done and we receive our resurrected
bodies, we will be in a better, happier, and more glorious place than this mortal
life, even if we don't make it all the way to the highest glory.
But how would it be possible to feel happy and
fulfilled for all eternity without physical intimacy in our lives.. this very
key ingredient in a happy life that we already got to use and learned to love
here on earth?
Is it possible that we are missing an important
point here? Could it be that the key difference between the highest glory and
those below is the ability to have eternal offspring, and that even at the lesser
glory, physical intimacy will be a part of our lives...?
Sincerely,
Eternally Troubled
Dear Troubled,
The first statement you made that caught my
attention was - "the key difference between the highest glory and those
below it is the ability to have eternal offspring, and that even at the lesser
glory; physical intimacy will be a part of our lives."
I believe that this statement is a correct one, and
there is doctrine and scriptures that support that belief.
Your friend's statement that we might have body
parts but will not be able to use them, I believe, is partially right and
partially wrong.
Why both?
The whole
physical body is earned by all who come to mortality
Let's start with Alma 40:23 -
"The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame."
Forgive me if this sounds patronizing (this is not
my intention), but Alma
did not say penises or vaginas or breasts or any other sexual organs would be
excluded from the resurrection of the body. I can find no scriptural account of
a body part being taken away in the resurrection as a result of
unrighteousness, or that any body part would not be functional in the
eternities.
On the contrary, if everything is restored in the
resurrection to its “proper and perfect frame”, I believe it’s safe to say it
will function as it should – perfectly; completely.
Therefore, body functions such as sexual intercourse,
ejaculation, and orgasm may all be available to those who inhabit lower
kingdoms, and for eternity.
Some members may feel cheated by this possibility
or say, "Why would a righteous God allow people who should be punished to
find comfort in fornicating in their kingdoms, where they’ll never carry the
responsibilities of marriage, and never get diseases, and never die?"
The ability to
have children will stay with God in the next life
There is doctrine that talks about eternal
increase, meaning the ability to have
children. This power would only be available to those who are entrusted with
it, and they gain that trust by making and keeping covenants in the temple:
"In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; and in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood (meaning the new or everlasting covenant of marriage); and if he does not, he cannot obtain it.
He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase."[1]
You asked the question, "But how would it be
possible to feel happy and fulfilled for all eternity without physical intimacy
in our lives.. this very key ingredient in a happy life…"
The Lord has a great and generous love for all his
children, not just those who will join him in his kingdom someday.
He wants all his children to be happy wherever they
choose to be, and He sorrows for those who cannot.[2]
Those who go to lower kingdoms will not be able to
marry.[3]
They will not be able to have children.[4]
If what Alma
taught about the restoration of the body is accurate, they likely will be able
to have sex. So that is how your friend is partly right, and partly incorrect.
Even the lowest level of the Telestial
Kingdom will be nicer than anything we
can imagine here on Earth, but the Terrestrial and Telestial Kingdoms
will not be an eternal Club Med. People
can’t sin without any consequences, even though from our temporal perspective,
it may seem that way.
To be jealous of those who seem to commit sin with
no consequences is to fail to see the latent consequences of unrighteous
choices. For those who sin and are momentarily happy, we should be happy that
they're happy, but sorrowful that their happiness cannot last.
Wickedness never was happiness; misery always
follows, sooner or later.[5]
Elder Holland
expresses the Lord’s thoughts concerning our envy of others:
“’Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?’Brothers and sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt-and certainly not to feel envious-when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are reallyin is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is-downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment!"[6]
I believe this includes those who appear happy in
sin.
"Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb."[7]
Eternal ‘Barbie
dolls’?
Your question is one I've heard suggested in other
places online, and even growing up in the church, with some pretty creative
answers. I've heard some members speculate that those in other kingdoms other
than the Celestial Kingdom will become 'eternal Barbie dolls' with only smooth
places where their sexual organs used to be, thus being deprived of the ability
to have sex for all eternity.
Those who hold to this belief are subscribing to
something more mainstream Christianity in nature than LDS gospel-oriented. That the resurrection is spiritual and will leave us glorified spirits without body parts or passions. The religious
beliefs of a God with 'no body, parts, or passions' and that we will shed these
sinful bodies and be free of them someday feeds into that idea that the body is
somehow disposable or a necessary evil while we fulfill our purpose on earth.
This is not the doctrine taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at all, and contradicts the scriptural teachings of
resurrection.
The body is vital to our ability to experience a fullness of joy, now and forever, and everyone who has earned a body will be
resurrected and have the full use of that gift and all it's parts forever.[8]
The next world
will be different than mortality, with different consequences
Consequences will also continue through eternity,
but the physical consequences will change. There will be no more physical death
or physical pain.[9] Everyone will likely be happy and comfortable
with the kingdom they inherit, at first. The scriptures suggest, however, that
emotional and spiritual pain and suffering will in some ways continue.[10]
As previously mentioned, those who inherit the
lower kingdoms will live in worlds with no children.[11] The people in the Terrestrial and Telestial Kingdoms will learn all they can learn,
and do all they can do. A time will come when there is nothing new under the sun
anymore.
There will be no one new to tell their stories to
who haven't heard them already. All the songs will become old. There will be not new children to teach and no continued progression at all… only repetition of the
same old thing, over and over, for eternity.[12]
Which would you
choose? Celibacy or Promiscuity?
Those who enter the Celestial kingdom, but choose
not to enter into the
covenant of marriage (when the opportunity is given),
will be ministers to those who have. They will not have sex, because they cannot
break the law of chastity and live with Father in Heaven. These will only
progress themselves so far until they are perfect.
But, they will be privileged to live in a world
with new spirit children around them, and they will benefit from the
progression of others - for eternity. They will always have someone new to tell
their stories to, and teach, and watch over and care for peripherally.[13]
Those who enter the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom will retain their marriage under
the Lord’s covenant and stay faithful to those covenants.[14]
They will have sex that will be perfect physically, emotionally and
spiritually. They will have spirit
children to teach, to raise, to watch and pray for, to encourage, and to create
new connections with and watch that newness over and over again.[15]
Those children will be as numerous as the sands of
the sea and as long as there are new minds to teach, to raise, and to care for,
there will be variety, and progression, and caring, and growing, forever and
ever.[16]
Can you see why the Lord values the fruit of
procreation so much? Can you see why God makes the power of procreation a matter of earning trust through his law of chastity? Why it is so important for us to bridle and
protect?
My understanding from these scriptures is that children
are the key to a life worth living forever. And, from our the experience of examples we've seen here on earth, how destructive mentally, physically and spiritually the abuse of sex can be. We should aim to live where the
children will live – with Heavenly Father in His kingdom.[17]
Sex does not
equal happiness all by itself.
Having sex can be as far from being happy as having
lots of money means you're wealthy. There's more to wealth (and sex) than just
the material possession of it. There's also the joy that can only come from the
righteous utilization of it.
There are lots of people out there who have sexual, "lifestyles", habits, paraphilias, dependencies and
addictions. They are getting sex, but it does not bring them a fullness of joy and only
produces destruction and heartache all around them, but they become resigned to it as part of the use of it in order to get the sexual release or intimacy fix. The joy of marital intimacy is a rainbow they are forever chasing. Many others enter into
loving consensual sexual relationships of one type or another, but unless they
live according to the principles of the gospel, knowingly or unknowingly, their
relationships turn out hellish and miserable, and sometimes end even when the
sex itself is good. Intimacy is more than just friction on membranes and chemical releases.[18]
The joy we get from sex comes through the increase
we obtain from it - building a relationship that will last through the
eternities and having children and watching them grow.
Even if a couple is unable to have children in this
life, this ability will be given them in the eternities - if they honor their
covenants and do the best they can.[19]
A lower-kingdom
view of sex and children
It's very ironic that many in the world looks at children
as an unfortunate by-product of sex, and that all the happiness and
satisfaction comes from the sex itself. In the Lord's view, this is reasoning
turned on its head.
To illustrate, Elder Dallin H. Oaks recently
taught:
"We remember our Savior's teaching as He placed a little child before His followers and declared:'And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea'(Matthew 18:5-6).A Harvard law professor describes the current law and attitude toward marriage and divorce: 'The [current] American story about marriage, as told in the law and in much popular literature, goes something like this: marriage is a relationship that exists primarily for the fulfillment of the individual spouses. If it ceases to perform this function, no one is to blame and either spouse may terminate it at will. . Children hardly appear in the story; at most they are rather shadowy characters in the background.'[20]
Elder Oaks goes on to explain how the secular
world's view is an evil tradition. This attitude is not consistent with the
lifestyle of celestial beings.
Some gifts are
freely given, and some are earned
Before God will entrust us with the power of
producing spirit children in the eternities, he has to know he can trust us to
be creators and not destroyers with the fountains of life in this world.
One of my favorite analogies is of sex being like
fire. Restricting fire to a fireplace and not letting that fire get out of
control has the ability to do many wonderful things for us. It can warm us,
cook our food, help us create glass and metal, even produce power to light our
home and run machines. This is how those who inherit the Celestial Kingdom
will live and have sex and create.
Fire can also be used to destroy, which will be
reflected in the attitudes and beliefs and misery-producing habits of those who
will inherit the lower kingdoms. Imagine a person who felt that keeping fire in
the fireplace was too restrictive and developed the habit of only using it to
spray fire everywhere they went. He/she would burn their home, the people
around them, and their world.
Sex is the same. If we are a loose cannon and
inclined to use it freely and with wild abandon on whomever or whatever we
cross paths with, why would God want to entrust us with that sacred power to
create spirit children after this life?
“…that same
sociality which exists among us now…”
We will obtain the kingdom where we are the most
comfortable, and at the level we can be trusted. When we are resurrected, we
will not magically become holy and spiritual beings instantly just because we
lived in the culture of the Church.[21]
We will be the same as we have lived our lives here
on Earth.[22] We
may be able to have sex, but it will not automatically equal joy, peace or
happiness. That is, unless we’ve learned how to create those kinds of
relationships by applying the principles of the gospel to our lives. We cannot
escape the consequences that come from abusing the sacred gift of sex.
After our resurrection, we will still be able to
experience misery that comes from hurt feelings, sexual abuses, and emotional
abuse. We will still experience the self-hatred, disappointment and loneliness
that comes with an inability to stay faithful to our relationship commitments.
We avoid that and obtain the joy and happiness of
procreation by showing the Lord we can be entrusted with it. We are entrusted
with it in the eternities by applying the Atonement, repenting frequently,
making and keeping covenants, and keeping sex in the bounds the Lord has set.
Prepare now to live
a Celestial life…
Whatever kingdom we inherit is our choice and contingent
on how we exercise our agency. We can share the gospel and encourage others who
live differently to repent, but we can be most effective by showing an example
of how to live in a Celestial manner.
We do this by thinking and living the way that God
does and asking ourselves “What would Jesus Christ do?”
Instead of worrying about what will happen to those
who will someday inherit lower kingdoms (whoever they may be - hopefully as few
as possible), it would be better for us to spend our time creating marital and
sexual happiness in our marriages, so that all who see us will know the
happiness and the joy that can come from living the gospel, no matter what our
circumstances.
[19]
Handbook 2:
Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.3.; found at www.lds.org
[21] “Some
have come to think of activity in the Church as the ultimate goal. Therein lies
a danger. It is possible to be active in the Church and less active in the
gospel. Let me stress: activity in the Church is a highly desirable goal;
however, it is insufficient. Activity in the Church is an outward indication of
our spiritual desire. If we attend our meetings, hold and fulfill Church
responsibilities, and serve others, it is publicly observed.
By
contrast, the things of the gospel are usually less visible and more difficult
to measure, but they are of greater eternal importance. For example, how much
faith do we really have? How repentant are we? How meaningful are the
ordinances in our lives? How focused are we on our covenants?
I
repeat: we need the gospel and the Church. In fact, the purpose of the Church
is to help us live the gospel.
– Donald L. Hallstrom,
“Converted to His Gospel Through His Church”,April 2012 Gen Conference
