So, I have a question for you. Would you consider a wife
sending sexy pictures of herself to her husband's cell phone porn? Why or why
not?
Dear Anon July 19th,
For a deeper answer to your question, you may want to refer
to my article series "My Porn is Okay, Your Porn Is not Okay, Avoiding The
Double Standard I, II, & III." [i]
According to Dr. Simon Goldhill of Cambridge University,
pornography is an invention of the 19th century Victorian culture. It began as
a collection of archaeological artifacts that are sexual in nature. They
contain clay and stone models of sex organs and images of sexual acts, many of
which were religious in nature and sacred to the people who created them. Much of the collection
were not considered sexually arousing to the ancient culture, but were instead a form
of symbolic communication used to keep the peace.
The collection of the artifacts evolved into an effort by
the "gentlemen" of that era to label, name and control their world. Their
efforts to control who was allowed to view them was partially so that the
images would not be abused and made a mockery of, or unintentionally offend
those who would interpret them out of context.[ii]
Before the Victorians, no other culture in the world even
had a concept of anything being “pornographic” - including the people in the
scriptures. Even the Victorian culture couldn't nail down an agreed definition
of the term – nor can we today. Since the 19th century, the term pornography
has gone through several changes in definition.
Each subculture in today's world has its own definition of
pornography. Our Mormon subculture has even established its own definition. Dallin
H. Oaks gave us that definition when he described it as "images and words
intended to arouse sexual desires.” However,
he followed this statement by quoting the Savior, who said,
“Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath
committed adultery with her already in his heart.” [iii]
Committing adultery with our spouse, to whom we are already
legally and lawfully married, is to me a contradiction in terms. It would also contradict
everything that is taught in the gospel about the boundaries established by the
Lord in regard to sex and sexuality. All things sexual are to be kept (and
expressed) within the bonds of marriage.[iv]
Looking at the sacred, naked body parts of our wives or
husbands (by whatever medium we may choose) is completely within the bounds the
Lord has set and therefore cannot be defined as pornography or profane erotica - as the leaders of the Church Of Jesus Christ
of Latter-Day Saints have defined it. It would be in fact a viewing of sacred erotica. (You can read more on that by reviewing my article "Latter-Day Saints Take Pleasure In Sacred Erotica")
Someone else viewing images of our spouse’s nakedness would
be viewing them in a profane erotica context. If ‘sexting’ is a practice you
choose to do between each other as husband and wife, I would recommend
immediate deletion of those images after they’ve been viewed by the intended
spouse.
If a spouse desires to express their intimate feelings in
this visual manner, and put themselves in a vulnerable position for your
benefit, you should respect that vulnerability and do all that can be done to protect
them from exposure and humiliation.
If such an image were someone else’s wife or the scantily-clad
or nude image of a single daughter of God’s body, that image would be
profane erotica to us.
We can think of profane erotica in terms of what is licensed and
unlicensed. To become a lawyer, you must pass a bar exam to be licensed to practice
law. An unlicensed person can hang a shingle as a lawyer, but he would be in
violation of the law.
I prefer to not use the term "pornography" at all, because of it's fluid
state of definition. I prefer to use the terms sacred erotica and
profane erotica. Profane being taking something holy and treating as
though it had no value and making it unholy. Sacred erotica would be
those things that sexually arouse you within the bounds the Lord has
set.
You are licensed through marriage to view images of your spouse,
and such an image therefore is not a violation of God’s law and therefore is sacred erotica to you. A person who is not licensed through marriage to view your spouse’s
nudity would be in violation of God’s law, and the very same images would be profane erotica to them.
I’m not a lawyer, but it’s my understanding that if minors
(such as children or children’s friends) accidentally come upon those images, it
could be considered a felony and prosecuted as such. Were another adult to view
those images, it would be a sin in allowing another to ‘uncover the nakedness
of your spouse’[v],
not to mention the considerable embarrassment involved for all parties.
If the wrong button were pressed, and that image were
broadcast on the Internet (it does happen), the problem would only be
compounded, with far-reaching latent consequences in many directions that could
involve damage to careers and reputations, as well as other sorts of
repercussions.
Bottom line, I would recommend the exercise of basic caution and
consideration for each other. I believe this is true in whatever sexual practice we choose as couples.
[ii]
Simon Goldhill is Professor in Greek Literature and Culture and fellow and Director
of Studies in Classics at King's College, Cambridge. See Wikipedia
for a list of his writings.
[iii]
Dallin H. Oaks, Pornography, Apr. 2005 Gen. Conference
[iv]
Eternal Marriage Handbook, pg. 139-146
[v]
A significant part of Leviticus 18 deals with laws concerning different forms
of sexual immorality, which refer to immorality as ‘uncovering the nakedness’
of someone in an inappropriate way.
