Is your marriage a prison sentence, or an eternity of blissful and joyful opportunities? It's all in how you look at it, isn't it?
Tonight, do your favorite thing to do together. It doesn't matter what it is...just do it.
"Incompatibility is never the real reason for a divorce. It's a reason for breakup of a dating relationship...The real reason is likely to be that neither attended to the relationship. Perhaps one or both threw themselves into parenting, or a job. They stopped doing the things that they did when dating and that couples need to do to thrive as parents - take time for conversation, talk about how their day went or what's on their mind. Or perhaps the real love was undermined by the inability to handle conflict.
If you get to the point where you're delivering an ultimatum, you haven't been maintaining your relationship properly. It's like your car stopping on the side of the road and you say, 'It just isn't working anymore' - but you haven't changed the oil in 10 years.
What makes people the right mates for each other - is the willingness of both partners to be open and vulnerable; to listen and care about each other."
~ Doherty, Bradbury, Webber, "Are You With The Right Mate", Psychology Today, Feb 2012 pg 63
4 comments:
From the picture I thought this was going to be about bondage! :)
Were you disappointed? :-)
There are actually a lot of good things we can learn from people in the bondage community. They often have a much deeper level of communication and understanding of each others needs and wants, than you will find in most 'vanilla' relationships.
From what was included in my training, it sounds like they have to because it trains them in how to engage in these sexual activities outside of marriage and rules are needed - especially with strangers. I find the whole "body focused" BDSM culture to be a counterfeit of the sexual communication required in marriage and a poor substitute for the full orchestra of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual marital intimacy.
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