How Well Do We Really Know Female Sexuality?

“Straight women tend to reach climax less than 60% of the time they have sex. Men reach climax 90% of the time they have sex. To address these issues, women have been sold flawed medications…

The thing is, female sexuality can’t be fixed with a pill. That’s because it’s not broken. It’s misunderstood.

We need a clearer understanding of how women actually work.

~ Sarah Barmak (author of Closer: Notes from the Orgasmic Frontier of Female Sexuality) Ted Talk “Women’s Sexuality Isn’t Complicated” Dec. 2016

As an example of how little we know about women’s sexuality and the urgent need for us as husbands to ask questions and learn more, Sarah went on to explain that the 16^th century fathers of anatomy were not sure what to do with what they saw of the clitoris because it didn’t appear to have anything to do with procreation.

It was even considered an abnormal growth. Those considered too large were medically advised to be excised. This was practiced in the West as late as the 20^th century. Even Freud recommended cutting off the clitoris if women expressed a libido. He recommended it as a treatment for what considered a testosterone birth defect causing a female to have too much male hormones.  

To further show how little we still know, the full clitoris was not fully 3-d mapped until 2009! I included an image of the full clitoris in the article.   

This should be concerning, if you think about it. The complete human genome blueprint was completed in 2003!

Our lack of understanding of the clitoris and female sexual anatomy is reflected in the medical books. Can you imagine “as a male” the penis not being included in the medical books?  Books that helped surgeons navigate during surgery to ensure nothing important was damaged or removed?

To help us as married couples ensure we can obtain and maintain the best possible sex, let us begin by eliminating the assumption that women’s sexuality and libido operate the same as a male’s and take the time to ask our wives what they need to feel aroused.

Ask them if they want an orgasm and learn how their clitoral nerves work so we can help them obtain one or let them know that it’s ok if they don’t want an orgasm every time you have sex as a couple.

I’ve included a link to the Sarah Barmak's TED talk if you wish to review it yourself. I did not share it on the Facebook page or the full transcript here because I didn’t feel her addressing of sexuality respected how we understand it to be in terms of sacredness. I found some of her statements to be irreverent in regards to the sacredness of sex.